Christmas was a bit tough for me this year. I can't really say why, since it wasn't the first time I haven't been with some of my family to celebrate it. Last year Andrew and I spent our first Christmas together, just the two of us. And Piper, of course. This year was the same, with the addition of Jane.
The weeks leading up to Christmas just weren't very fun, as far as getting excited for Christmas to come. It is stressful trying to find some new traditions to do as a new family. I know it probably shouldn't be as stressful as I make it out to be, but let me tell you something. While I was growing up in New York with all of my siblings, we had some great Christmas traditions. They built up so much excitement for Christmas day. They may not have all been the most spiritual Christmas traditions, but the things I remember most are spending time with my whole family. It was the most fun I could ever have, even if we were getting sick from stuffing our faces with Slim Jims and Reese's peanut butter cups from our stockings.
So, trying to create new traditions for our new little family is a daunting task, since I feel like they should be GREAT. I had to keep telling myself that those traditions came about over YEARS of time. That calmed me down for about half a day.
So the Christmas excitement and spirit wasn't really happening for me this year. And the weather here in Virginia wasn't helping much either. 70 degrees in the middle of December?? Come on.
Despite all that I was unhappy about, we did get to go to the Night of Miracles, a reenactment of Jerusalem and Christ's birth. This happens in Buena Vista every December. It's fun to walk through the little town they create and to see all the different animals and watch the Roman centurions ride around on their horses (obviously). I have been to it several times since I have been living in Buena Vista, but this was the first time I went after having a baby. For me, this made all the difference in my thoughts and feelings as I watched the performance of Mary and Joseph with Christ, the wise men, the angels, and the shepherds.
I'm not much of a baby person, if someone offers their child to me I usually say "Oh no thanks, they look perfectly happy where they are. I'll probably make them cry, haha!" (but seriously). Point being, I haven't spent much time around children or babies. Jane is the only baby I have spent more than just a few hours with. I'm watching her learn and grow and become a real person.
When I think of Christ, I think of him as a grown man. Even at Christmas time, I think, "Yes he was born, then he grew up to become our Savior". I never really dwell on the fact that he was a real, tiny baby. I know most of this if really obvious to most people, but like I said, not much of a baby person over here. Now that I am seeing my child grow every single day, now that I see what a child goes through, it changes the way I see Christ. As well as Mary and Joseph. "The little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes". Seeing a baby peacefully stare at you is such an interesting experience, perhaps because it doesn't happen all that often, especially when they are newborns. A newborn usually just sleeps and is awake for a little bit to feed. Picturing Christ as a quiet, little newborn is a very humbling experience for me. Knowing just how helpless a tiny baby is, how much they need their mother and father, really helps me put Christ's life into perspective.
I don't think I have the words to say exactly what I think and feel now after having this Christmas experience, but I just know that being a mother has helped my relationship with Christ, especially during the Christmas season.
As far as traditions go, I think this is a great one to hold on to as long as we are living in Buena Vista.
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